Winter deliveries and home services

Assemble your own NYC indoor survival kit.

Deliveries

Sex toys
There is nothing better than a blizzard party. In bed. With your new fling. Except for a blizzard party in bed with your fling and some adult toys. If only someone were willing to bring vibrators , under-the-bed restraints and a sex harness (hmm, sounds interesting) to your door. Never fear, oh privileged New Yorkers, Babeland (babeland.com; Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn) will deliver sex toys locally within three hours for a 30-buck fee.

DVDs
Don’t risk running into the boss out on the mean streets. Instead, order in some videos from the simply named We Deliver Videos (212-860-4600, wedelivervideos.com; Upper East and Upper West Sides). In less than an hour you can have The Notebook or Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?—your call. Purchase a block of ten rentals for $39.99.

Bodega staples
We know how annoying it is when a Willy-B house party runs out of Tropicana. And it’s even worse to trek half a block to the corner bodega in subzero temps for more. Luckily, the folks at Anytime NY (718-218-7272, anytimeny.com; Williamsburg and Greenpoint, Brooklyn) will deliver juice (if you want PBR you’ll have to wait till they get a liquor license this spring) and smokes to your Brooklyn doorstep anytime between 4pm and 2am Sun-Thurs and 4pm to 5am Fri-Sat. Plus, they take credit cards and have late-night grub. Minimum purchase is $12 and there’s no delivery fee.

In Bushwick and Williamsburg, Hyperbodega (hyperbodega.com, 10pm--4:30am) will raid your neighborhood store for you. You order online, get a quote for a surcharge based on the number, type and cost of items, and pay in cash on delivery. The only thing you’ll miss is your relationship with your deli guy.

Manhattanites are used to satisfying their cravings for Murray’s Cheese or Sugar Sweet Sunshine cupcakes on a moment’s notice. Order online from Max Delivery (maxdelivery.com; Manhattan below W 34th St and E 26th St), and you can have pretty much anything at your door in an hour. Delivery for orders of more than $75 is free, anything under will cost you a whopping $2.95.

Haute cuisine
It’s easy to get into a rut with your local Chinese takeout—try an upgrade. Add 20 percent to your tab, and in less than an hour Dial-a-Dinner (212-643-1222; Manhattan) will serve you a complete meal from any of more than 200 upscale restaurants, like the Palm and Cipriani. You can watch Lifetime movies and snack on foie gras in bed, or invite friends over and pretend you’re a gourmet cook (just make sure you trash the containers).

Services


Stripper
Why not surprise yourself with a Strip-o-Gram for a little Sunday-funday treat? Come on, you deserve it. Strippers NYC (212-942-4370 ext 76, strippersnyc.com; tristate area) will send you any variety of lads or lasses, from belly dancers to superchubby ladies. It’s $225 for a half-hour show. See the website for the menu of services.

Cooking classes
Become a master of French bistro cuisine or Spanish tapas in your own kitchen. The chefs at Home Cooking New York (917-803-6857, homecookingny.com; all five boroughs) will visit your apartment and teach you to whip up a delicious feast. The goal is to show New Yorkers how to work with what they’ve got (in our case, a hot pot, an oven used for sweater storage and a bottle of relish). Apparently, you can cook in your itsy-bitsy kitchen. Just don’t blow it by forgetting to order the ingredients from FreshDirect. A three-hour class for you and a friend will run $300.

Fitness trainer
Ugh, going to the gym is such a drag. Who wants to be jiggling, red-faced and panting on the treadmill in front of all those cuties? Never mind the horror of showing the world your desperate attempts to be coordinated in kickboxing class. Hire a personal trainer to come to your apartment so you can be humiliated in private. Then, show off your new bod when it finally gets warmer. Try the trainers from Physical Equilibrium (917-744-6627, physeq.com; all five boroughs) for one-on-one sessions.

Personal shopping
Personal shoppers don’t have to be ridiculously expensive. Karen J. Mann (917-797-6665, karenjmann.com; Manhattan) doesn’t “believe that style has to do with price.” She says fashion is all about personal style and knowing your look, and she’s willing to do the grunt work for you. If you still haven’t found a dress for that wedding or a hot number to make your ex drool, give Mann a call—she’ll make the purchases and bring them back to you for review for $95 per hour.

Therapy
If those damn mommy issues are making it hard to embrace your peculiar brand of agoraphobic behavior, consider a few hours of therapy. For counseling on your own comfy couch, ring up down-to-earth therapist Dorian Rabinowitz, L.C.S.W. (917-324-5056, therapistsoncallnyc.com; Manhattan, Queens). If you’ve got a webcam and an Internet connection, Clay Cockrell, L.C.S.W. (917-685-8461, onlinepsychotherapy.com) offers online appointments, priced on a sliding scale.

Hair care
Just because you’re hibernating doesn’t mean you should adopt the rat’s-nest hermit-hair look. Eventually, the trees will blossom, and you’ll want to step out looking your best. The geniuses at Frederic Fekkai (212-753-9500, fekkai.com; all five boroughs) bring the salon to you; though at around three times in-salon prices, the service might not fit your recessionista budget. You may be better off having Max Delivery bring you a box of L’Oreal.

Errand running
The motto at Cross It Off Your List lifestyle management company (212-725-0122, crossitoffyourlist.com; tristate area) instructs you to “Put it on ours” (to-do list, that is). For 65 to 95 buckaroos an hour, they’ll run your errands, find an impossibly elusive item or even take a stab at organizing your closets.

Pet grooming
Are you the kind of New Yorker who makes homemade organic dog food? We know you’re out there, and this service is right up your alley. Village Paw Spa (212-920-5585, petgroomnewyork.com; Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens) offers at-home animal makeovers, with services including pedicures, massage and aromatherapy services. After all, if the bone-chilling cold frazzles your nerves, it probably isn’t too thrilling for Fido, either. Ballerina-turned-dog-groomer Theresa brings bottles of lavender to soothe animals and their owners; services start at $65.

Tailoring
Getting alterations on a dress or having a pair of pants hemmed is annoying on a normal day. In the winter, when you have to peel off layers of clothing and outerwear in a tiny fitting room, it’s even more of a nuisance. Beyond Bespoke (888-472-5909, beyondbespoke.com; Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island) sends a qualified tailor to your home for no extra charge if your alterations cost $100 or more (otherwise there’s a $50 fee). The company offers free alteration estimates, too. Manhattan dwellers can also try Bhambi’s Custom Tailors Ltd (212-935-5379, bhambis.com; $25 travel fee).

Massage
You don’t have to go to a crowded public spa to have the hot-stone experience. The city has an abundance of massage therapists that will come to you. Try The New York Massage Company (212-427-8175, nymassage.com) for $100 per hour. Or give reflexology or prenatal massage a shot with NY Healing Touch (646-217-2533, nyhealingtouch.com), which travels to all five boroughs.

Tech repair
That high-pitched wheezing coming from your computer sure doesn’t sound good. Before you brave the cold in search of the closest Genius Bar, try repair service Laptop MD (212-920-4833, laptopmd.com; Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens). The MDs will fix your ailing computer on the spot or take it back to their workshop, and the $90 visit fee goes toward the cost of repairs. For what ails your littlest, most precious computer—meaning your darling MP3 player, of course—try the pediatrician of the computer-repair world, the iPod Doctor (646-202-3935, nycipoddoctor.com; Manhattan). Repairs start at $45.

Karaoke
Whether you’ve been permanently kicked out of Second on Second Karaoke for one too many “Freebird” performances (and no, we won’t call you “Skynyrd” for short) or are just too embarrassed to let others hear you wail, you can now sing in the privacy of your own home. Karaoke Champ (212-375-0091, karaokechamp.com) will provide a karaoke player, amplifier, speakers, monitor, microphones and up to 17,000 songs, starting at $245 for a full day.