Tortoise In Love (12A)

Film

TortoiseinLove_01.jpg

Time Out rating:

<strong>Rating: </strong><span class='lf-avgRating'>3</span>/5

User ratings:

<strong>Rating: </strong><span class='lf-avgRating'>3</span>/5
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Time Out says

Tue Jul 10 2012

It takes a village to raise a child, as the African proverb goes. The villagers of Kingston Bagpuize have gone one further: they’ve raised a romcom. It’s the brainchild of ex-Guardian columnist (and real-life Bagpuize local) Guy Browning, making his debut as a writer-director. The cast is made up of residents of the Oxfordshire village (who financed the film to the tune of up to £1,000 each) and actors of course, with the Women’s Institute handling the catering. They even talked MP Ed Vaizey into making a cameo. (One for the Big Society?) Browning tailors the plot to the village’s best asset: its stately pile, where gardener Tom (Tom Mitchelson) falls in love with the Polish au pair (Alice Zawadzki). Fans of Browning’s columns will recognise the script’s gentle-poke satire. Here’s a villager explaining the British boarding school system to the au pair: ‘Rich people do it to spend more time with their dogs.’ It’s sharper than your average Britcom, and perfectly charming, so you’ll forgive a bit of amateurism and wooden acting.
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Release details

Rated:

12A

UK release:

Fri Jul 13, 2012

Duration:

84 mins

Cast and crew

Director:

Guy Browning

Cast:

Tom Mitchelson, Alice Zawadzki, Tom Yates, Will Kemp

Screenwriter:

Guy Browning

Users say

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<strong>Rating: </strong><span class='lf-avgRating'>0</span>/5

Average User Rating

5 / 5

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Julie P

I never write reviews but I feel compelled to say I've just left the cinema feeling completely warm and uplifted. This is what we need to be watching during these recession-filled rainy days. To me, it was better than 4 weddings and a funeral. Everyone in the cinema was laughing out loud for the duration of the film and they even applauded it at the end.

Julie P

I never write reviews but I feel compelled to say I've just left the cinema feeling completely warm and uplifted. This is what we need to be watching during these recession-filled rainy days. To me, it was better than 4 weddings and a funeral. Everyone in the cinema was laughing out loud for the duration of the film and they even applauded it at the end.

Anna

You know that a film has failed when you check your watch several times during it, waiting for it to end, and cringing all the way through. I don't normally review movies but we went to see this film because it was rated 7.5 on IMBD. Normally the IMBD rating is a good indicator of the quality of the film. but in this case it was totally wrong. I read that this film was made by an entire village and some of them reviewed it on IMBD . They have a vested interest and they want you to go see the film. Don't bother. It's pretty painful to watch. Here are the reasons why I did not enjoy it: It is devoid of any talent - in the acting, writing, dialogue, concept, etc. It's bad all round. It's amateur dramatics packaged as a British romantic comedy. But it's no 'Notting Hill' or 'Love Actually'. The actors leave A LOT to be desired. Apparently the lead male is a dead ringer for Hugh Grant and the lead actors are meant to be good looking. They are very average looking though. Unfortunately the lead actor Tom also does not possess a brain. He's gormless, boring and dull. The film makes a lot of his 'slowness' in pursuing his love interest. But he's just slow altogether. Of course this is a problem because it makes for extremely dull watching. The leading lady is apparently a talented musician who is trying her hand at acting. I think she should stick to the day job because there is no evidence of talent there in acting. The little boy in the film (the owner's son) is also completely dull to watch. There is no chemistry between the leading characters. It's completely awkward when they kiss at the end and finally get together. In fact, we don't even know why the leading man Tom likes Anya, and vice versa. This is because we know so little about these characters, and they know so little about each other seeing as they barely spoke in this film. The characters come across as desperate for a romance while all the while there is no chemistry. So they come across as desperate, period. It's also meant to be a romantic comedy. It's neither. I laughed at one joke in the entire film. I was in a cinema and there was not much laughter going on either. I found all 4 professional/critical reviews that are online about this film and each one gave it 2 out of 5. That tells you everything you need to know. I wish I'd read them before I went to see it and wasted my $15. Ignore the 7.5 rating on IMBD