Boston rites of passage

Just because you weren’t born at Beth Israel or didn’t complete the Triple Eagle doesn’t mean you haven’t experienced the real Boston rites of passage. All you need to do is complete at least half of this list of milestones—experiences, both good and bad, or knowledge gained. Fill out the checklist and brag about the results by sharing your score.

1. Gotten a parking ticket time-stamped two minutes after your Back Bay meter ran out.
2. Stood in line for a hot dog at Sullivan’s on the last weekend in February.
3. Soaked your sleeve at the New England Aquarium touch pool.
4. Cursed the bullpen through an epic ninth-inning Sox collapse.
5. Pledged to name your next cat Ortiz (Sandoval?) during an epic ninth-inning Sox comeback.
6. Giggled at the line outside Georgetown Cupcake on your way to getting a macaron at the Thinking Cup.

_{^{Photograph: Courtesy Creative Commons/Flickr/Herman Saksono}}

7. Attempted to Google Map your way out of the tunnels of the Downtown Crossing T stop.
8. Nabbed an entertainment center during Allston Christmas and then put it out on the curb the following Labor Day.
9. Called ahead your order at The Clam Box.
10. Found out that the LL Bean Boot lifetime warranty isn’t a myth.
11. Gone to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and then spent an obsessive evening trying to solve the theft.



12. Discovered your ability to talk your way out of any traffic ticket doesn’t even remotely apply to Boston traffic cops.
13. Surfed the rotating connector between cars of the Green Line.
14. Day-tripped up to Portland, Maine, just to get the Duckfat fries with truffled ketchup and garlic mayo.
15. Narrowly avoided getting shot in the face with a T-shirt gun at a Celtics game.
16. Tripped over a Bugaboo outside your favorite South End coffee spot.
17. Eavesdropped on a conversation about backyard chickens at Backbar.



18. Dipped your toe in the Charles River during a canoe ride and later Googled the pain levels of a tetanus shot.
19. Filled your freezer with bags of pork and leek dumplings from Qingdao Garden.
20. Realized you don’t own a traffic cone, a lawn chair or a 1970s baby buggy and so used your oscillating fan as a parking-spot saver.
21. Broken down in tears talking about the late Boston Super Dog.
22. Managed to get your fixed-gear to the top of Peters Hill at Arnold Arboretum, then nearly hit a training-wheeled Huffy on the way back down.
23. Declared allegiances to your favorite bridge and tunnel (Zakim and Ted Williams, duh).
24. Tripped on a cobblestone while admiring the gas lamps on Acorn Street.

25. Crossed Tremont Street to get away from the Spare Change guy.
26. Left a message on the WEEI Whiner Line.
27. Applied every filter under the sun to try and make City Hall look more attractive.
28. Had more than one conversation about Tom Brady’s pom-pom hat.
29. Made an unironic run to Kowloon’s.
30. Missed a flight because you hopped on the Silver Line to Logan and ended up wandering around the Design Center.

_{^{Photograph: Courtesy Creative Commons/Flickr/masstravel}}

31. Revisited your middling love of ‘90s complaint rock at a free Hatch Shell concert.
32. Counteracted an evening at Mary Ann’s with a slice from Pino’s.
33. Had an extended and nuanced political conversation with your barber at La Flamme.
34. Paid more for a soda than a beer at Wally’s Cafe.
35. Spent an afternoon surreptitiously Instagramming the regulars at Revere Beach.
36. Reconsidered the Sazerac after a night at Eastern Standard.



37. Revisited your frisbee-and-hidden-booze college quad memories at the Boston Common.
38. Stopped calling it Touchie’s and started called it The Sham.
39. Seen indie hip-hop at the Middle East with a stomach full of pumpkin kibby.
40. Slipped into the Charles Hotel just to use the bathroom.
41. Done your best drunken Rene Rancourt impression at Sullivan’s Tap.

You've completed 0 Boston rites of passage!