No one turns to Stephenie Meyer's novels for brain nourishment, but call it a known fact that Breaking Dawn is the installment in which the drama gets enjoyably cray-cray. The movie version, the best of the bunch so far, follows suit: Bella (Stewart) weds pallid Edward (Pattinson) in a forested ceremony only slightly less strange than her nightmares involving a bloody altar. They scoot off to Rio for a honeymoon and---this actually happens---break their nuptial bed with PG-13 human-vamp coupling. Alas, if only they could continue nuzzling and playing games of chess: A baby bump is suddenly prominent and demon spawn could be dangerous to Bella's health. Abort?
Rosemary's Baby it's not, but color us stoked that a Twilight movie even strays into evil-fetus territory. Meanwhile, thrown-off werewolf Jacob (Lautner, growing into the strongest of the cast) carries the torch and keeps his pack at bay. Who knows what's coming out of that 18-year-old's womb? Bella is content to suck down O-negative shakes (a dependable groan from the audience) and wait for the big moment. The whole story is remarkably retrograde---looks like college is out of the question---but at least director Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) owns it, delivering the red-eyed final shot we've all been waiting for. That last chapter might have some teeth.
Follow Joshua Rothkopf on Twitter: @joshrothkopf
Watch the trailer
|Release date:||Friday November 18 2011|