Cabaret performer Miss Behave talks chaos, Humph and 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' ahead of her Edinburgh Festival Fringe game show.
Hello, my name’s Miss Behave. I’ve made a game show. Thing is, I never really watched one. This leaves me perfectly qualified to either have no idea what I’m doing, or come up with something unimpeded by parody, tropes and imitation. So far I seem to have stumbled on a perilous balance between the two.
The only real game show I ever heard was my all-time favourite radio show, ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue’. Yup, the BBC Radio 4 staple. If you know, you’re right there with me. If you don’t know, google it and get to know it, for the love of god. And if you think you do know but picture it in your mind’s eye as a doddery ol’ dustball in the corner at the Beeb, sort yourself out. That masterpiece is one of the few things that make this unpatriotic lady burst with pride at what this ‘fine’ country can produce. The irreverence, sarcasm and absolute idiocy of it. It is the perfect nugget of nonsense.
A knighthood for Humph Lyttelton! (Well, he declined one in ’94, so p’raps not.) He was an absolute hero. Like Tony Benn, but with more laughs. An all-rounder, intent on causing mischief within the establishment whenever possible. Despite being a satirist, cartoonist and one of the eminent jazz trumpeters of the UK, he went to Eton (?!) - proof that you can come out of there a complete legend, as opposed to a people-wrecking, institution-destroying, greedy, entitled twat. But enough about my hero.
A lot of what I hold dear in life is present in this show’s ethos. In particular: nothing means anything, and there are no rules. Irreverence in the face of all things. You can have a message, but don’t deafen me with it. You can be passionate to the point of earnest, but don’t choke me with it. Give it to me wrapped up as a chaotic, unscripted, poke-fun-at-everything morsel, and not only will I laugh my tits off, I’ll have a think about what you were saying as I do it.
I’d flatter myself by saying I’m doing something similar. But I will say I’m doing something more chaotic, with very silly games, and with the addition of phones. A little new-fangled for the likes of ‘ISIHAC’, I grant you, but we’ve all grown third arms with the advent of smart phones, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.
Come along, and please bring Graham Garden with you – I want to knight him with Humph’s cast-off, and tell him that Jack Dee is doing a marvelous job. I’ll leave Humph with the final words:
‘And so, as I notice the eternal flame of hope has just been put out by the fire officer of destiny with the sand bucket of fate, we wish you good night.’
Miss Behave's Gameshow, Assembly Checkpoint, Aug 6-29, 10.15pm.