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Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Director: Michael Bay

Time Out rating

Average user rating

45 reviews

Movie review

From Time Out London

The tone is set for this third – and hopefully final – episode in the tiresome toy-based franchise somewhere around the fifth minute. It’s then that a bracing, pacy intro explaining how the entire American space programme was a cover for an alien fact-finding mission gives way to a grotesque, leering up-the-skirt shot of new leading lady Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s backside. From there, it follows the same template as the first two films: 90 minutes of near-unwatchable plot filler, bad slapstick, dubious racial stereotypes and crude softcore followed by a solid hour of indistinguishable shiny objects smashing into each other while their faceless human counterparts run about shouting ‘Go!’.

Football-faced fratboy Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is called back into action to save the world for a third time when a crashed Autobot spaceship is discovered on the Moon, causing exiled villain Megatron to come out of hiding and restart the Transformer war. The rest of the plot is all but impossible to follow, but it has something to do with teleportation, invasion and the enslavement of the human race.

A fairly annoying but mostly forgettable presence in the first two films, LeBeouf has graduated to full-on liability, his shrieking, barking, berserker performance just one of many inexplicable elements in this shouty, infuriating film. But he’s Laurence Olivier next to Huntington-Whiteley, whose blank, pouty turn as Sam’s new squeeze makes one long for the good old days of Megan Fox.

‘Dark of the Moon’ isn’t totally unbearable. Cameos from the likes of Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey and even Buzz Aldrin prove amusing distractions, and there’s a solid action sequence set in a toppling skycraper. But mostly this is fairly agonising: long, loud, lurid and lacklustre.

Author: Tom Huddleston

Time Out London Issue 2132: 29 June – 6 July, 2011

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User reviews of this film

roger rabbit said...

Posted on Jul 30 2011 10:06 i see the 9yrs olds reply ...if i want to hear from an ****le i would have farted !!!!!

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roger rabbits GP's mate said...

Posted on Jul 28 2011 19:07 THE FILM IS GREAT-NO ONE I KNOW OF GETS PAID TO WRITE ON HERE-THE GP IS RIGHT ABOUT THE PENIS THING I HEAR-THE FILM IS GREAT- AND ER THE FILM IS GREAT-BETTER THAN A BLOODY BATMAN FILM FOR SURE.ROGER RABBIT IS UGLY ASWELL-SMELLS AND HAS NO FRIENDS IN THE COSMOS.

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Roger Rabbit's GP. said...

Posted on Jul 28 2011 16:15 Roger Rabbit is a sad counselling case with a very large file who has unfeasibly tiny balls like little frozen peas and with no actual penis to speak of - the thing has atrophied through disuse.
Our receptionist can't even look at the wretch anymore.

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roger rabbit said...

Posted on Jul 28 2011 09:05 if ur 9yrs old or have suffered serious head damage you will luv this excuse for a movie!!! But to be honest its nothing short of sheer torture to watch & please please lets hope they dont waste money on another theres enough summer ***e so called big buget movies out there this yr

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ric said...

Posted on Jul 20 2011 15:01 4 star effort for this installment of Transformers. Hate 3D so i enjoyed it more-so in 2D.
How much more can they put into this type of movie??...i hope there isnt going to be a 4th! Also im glad Megan Fox wasnt in this one(wouldve been too cheesy-in love n all that!)Rosie Huntington gave a good performance but i wasnt concentrating on what she had to say ;-) Need to start saving for my own 'Bumblebee' car(which you can buy in the states)

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Bob D said...

Posted on Jul 20 2011 10:59 Having read all your reviews I asked my 6 year old grandson what he though of the film excitedly he said it was very very very good so we are going to watch it again me for the first time his the second He is 6 and i'm 63 ITS NOT REAL FOLKS Get a life and enjoy it with your kids The 5 star is from my grandson By the way the use of strong language shows your IQ

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lou said...

Posted on Jul 17 2011 11:28 I loved the first two. And I loved this one! Though it's probably a little too long for cinemas, I'll definately be buying it to watch in the comfort of my own home. Don't care what anyone says, the storyline entertained me just as much as it would kids. You'd never expect a complicated Inception-like storyline from this franchise. It's meant for anyone who wants over excessive CGI, lots of shouting and some good laughs. All in all a brilliant family film!

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Joey said...

Posted on Jul 15 2011 08:14 Watched it in 3d! great effects! love transformers! actually addicted!

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dazdazza said...

Posted on Jul 14 2011 11:59 Critics seem to hate this film and i guess there is a lot to critizise but punters tend to love it. Having had to reluctantly to sit through it in 3d with my son i have to ask the question what else should we expect? It doesn't need plot or character development it reminds me of the the japanese godzilla films but with robots (i loved these when i was a kid). Robots fighting in eyeball bleeding 3D for a hours on end makes me think, in someway, its perfect.

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kieran said...

Posted on Jul 12 2011 17:43 loved this film a shame michael bay might not be there for the forth, but its about fantasy its obv not real life but its fun to watch fun to believe action packed and with some of the best picture quality ive seen in my life time the matrix franchise took movies to a new level but this movie steps it up one more level my opinion and to be honest everyone i know whos gone to see it agrees with me.

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andrew said...

Posted on Jul 12 2011 09:51 OH the worm has turned--Mr Huddlestone have we ever seen a critic provoke as much response as the movie itself?----SO-- some people actually like this movie.why not,I'm no child and I found it a great piece of escapist cinema.Pure high adrenelin fun with one piece of pointless casting with a sillly looking pouty stick thing who has zero screen presence and no acting ability(its a shma megan Fox and Micahel Bay fell out,as she was believeable--as an ordinary girl who was really really pretty-this new one? just stuck in there with no crediblility as Sam's bird or as a believeable part-just a gangly fat lipped cat walk turd creature who eats one grape and smokes 80 marlboro a day, and some people thinks thats fit??) back to the movie,Sorry Tom but yet again the cracks in your review are as bog as the san Andreas fault.they only highlight your dislike and mistrust of huge global box office apealing action beasts such as 2012 and the transformers series,citing poor plot and wooden acting shows up that you were looking for thespian flaws that no one else was.TOM,,hers a heads up mate ITS A TRANFORMERS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! robots?optimus prime?Megatromn? They talk like WWFwrestlers and change from cars into talking robots and fire guns(and never reload)? its fun !!! I read that George Lucas loves these films-we know Speilbergs involved.I ask you,In modern cinema I know of no other stronger reccomendation thatn those two guys for shear enjoyment,and taking us on a ride-somewhere to escape to-along with Roland Emmerich and James Cameron you have cinemas artists--they paint a magcal celluloid picture with magical end product that smashes our senses and bring a smile to our eyes.there are other genres for sure-but these are action stories,--its a journey--goonies-ET-JAWS- Indiana jones-Independance day-Star wars-Avavtar- we want to be entertained TOM... and as for any other reviewers out there knocking this film,do me a favour if they bring out part 4---stay off here....

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Dave said...

Posted on Jul 12 2011 01:46 Really enjoyed the first film. Didn't think the second was so good but still fun. Thought the third was again fun and worth a watch for the cgi alone.
Kids or adults who grew up with the original toys & cartoon will enjoy. However, anyone looking for something more challenging to get their amateur film critic teeth into would be best off giving it a miss.
Be a kid again for a couple of hours and enjoy for what it is, visually spectacular and good fun but don't expect something that's going to win Oscars.
For the record there's nothing gotesque or softcore about the way the leading lady's shot in this film. She has an absolutely stunning figure which would've been hard to hide even if she'd spent the whole film clad in jeans and a baggy jumper.
Thankfully she didn't but if you're worried about taking kids because of the reviewers reference to softcore porn....don't be. The only skin you're going to see is legs, granted long and gorgeous but legs nonetheless and nothing more risqué than that.

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Danny said...

Posted on Jul 10 2011 09:59 This is a sad case of trying too hard to impress. There is definitely a tremendous effort put in to piece this movie together. But, hey, it is a science fiction - you don't have to be that serious! Almost three hours and most people just dose off. Seriously, the movie needs a good editor!!!

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John said...

Posted on Jul 06 2011 13:44 Jock:
The reasons why I went to see the 3rd film were simple:
1) I enjoyed the first 2 films
2) The preview looked interesting
3) I don't always agree with critics' reviews and like to make my own mind up for myself.
I went with high hopes but came our sadly disappointed - the CGI President was totally unconvincing, Shia did spend a lot of the film just screaming and RHW seemed to be acting as though she'd picked up a token bit of rough!
Incidentally, Jock, did we really need to know you had a "semi on" for the duration of the film? Eeeww!

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jock said...

Posted on Jul 05 2011 19:37 Yes,Kelt,John,Jojo-you did not enjoy it.Thats fine.I wonder why you attend in the firstplace/I knew what I was getting from it,blockbuster fun----------------Huddlestone,I can accept his dull repetetive mumblings--"I'm a critic ,this was dull I'mm a critic the story was rubbish bla blah blah( yes I just accept it now I dont forgive it however...,he comes over as an idiot who mocks all action films that are half decent)..But the rest of you?? Why oh why do you torture yourself??I would not go and see a cartoon kids film for 5 year olds or a sex and the city film,because I wont enjoy them.So just,well er just FUCK off basically-- If on the other hand you like action,special effects and Michael Bay and Steven spielberg and huge big fuck off robots smashing shit out of everything AGAIN < you will be like I was ,with a bit of a semi on, for about two hours.for about 2 hours.

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