Consuming Passions

Recipe for Chocolate Fudge. Take a half-hour TV play about a traditional family-owned confectionery company, the fortunes of which are miraculously revived when three men fall into the chocolate vats one day, creating an overnight tastebud sensation. Flatten it out until it is about three times the length, being careful to remove all but the most cursory references to the original authors, Michael Palin and Terry Jones. Add an inept Norman Wisdom-style hero (Butterworth), and a salacious subplot about a nymphomaniac Malteser (Redgrave) who blackmails him into having esoteric sex. Add a few drops of Essence of Ealing - small family firm threatened by giant conglomerate whose ruthless axemen (Pryce) puts efficiency and image before quality of product. Stir in some soppy love interest. The consistency should be lumpy and the taste insipid. In America these are known as Soylent Brownies.