Sometimes, when you've just wasted a tenner and a perfectly good evening watching another dumb, gratuitously gun-filled, hackneyed, nonsensical action picture, don't you wish you were as thick, lazy and easily pleased as Hollywood wants you to be? Then you'd enjoy this lumpen, insulting slab of meaningless, ultra-violent schlock. You wouldn't question a plot with Seagal as a fat Russian undercover Fed whose best buddy is sly dapper crim Ja Rule. You wouldn't wonder what they're doing in a reopened Alcatraz run by a stereotyped Mexican pimp. You wouldn't try to work out why a bunch of goons aim to steal $200m from a condemned Buddhist elf. You wouldn't worry about any of that because you'd be too busy picking popcorn from your lap and wondering where the next explosion will come from.
Half Past Dead
Cast and crew
|Director:||Don Michael Paul|
|Screenwriter:||Don Michael Paul|