Shark Night

You’ll spend more time with the food than the fish in ‘Shark Night 3D’, a ‘Jaws’ clone stranded in the shallow end of the pool. A gaggle of brain-dead students fend off various species of eating machines in a salt-water lake. But after a blond bather does her best Chrissie Watkins impersonation – sans the blood, boobs and moonlight ?– it’s an eternity before the rest of the film’s beach bait get the gnashing they deserve. Director David R. Ellis (‘Snakes on a Plane’) knows how to rack up a body count, but he’s coy with his camera. His toothless attack sequences unfold under cover of dark water and so the film is the equivalent of a skin flick in which all the sex scenes are tastefully obscured by blankets and sheets.