Teeth

I only hope this was conceived as a different beast to how it turned out: a risible B-horror about a vulnerable young suburban girl, Dawn (Jess Weixler), who is member of a chastity group with overtones of ‘True Love Waits’ and who is plagued with a man-eating vagina. Yes, Dawn has genitals with teeth. Some ancient myths might talk about vagina dentata, as writer-director Mitchell Lichtenstein clumsily quotes, but he may as well be basing ‘Jackass’ on Plato.

Dawn’s fangs come to life whenever sex is forced or unpleasurable: her first victim is a boyfriend who lures her to a cave; another is a gynaecologist who likes his job too much. I think Lichtenstein thinks he’s throwing a gift to womanhood – all the men who Dawn bites are sleazeballs or rapists, and there’s a gory focus on dismembered, er, members – but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen rape, incest or abuse dealt with so vapidly.