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  1. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Dan Dakich, interim (25-5, 14-3)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Kirkwood Bar & Grill, 2934 N Sheffield Ave (773-770-0700)

    SPECIALS
    $3 Miller bottles, $4 22-oz Miller Lite stadium cups (adorned with the Hoosiers logo); $1.50 mini burgers, half-price wings

    GRAD RATE
    78%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �They should really think about bringing back Bob Knight after the Kelvin Sampson debacle.�

  2. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Todd Lickliter (13-18, 6-12)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Merkle�s Bar & Grill, 3516 N Clark St (773-244-1025)

    SPECIALS
    $3 22-oz Bud Light and Miller Lite drafts; 25� wings

    GRAD RATE
    47%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �Herky the Hawkeye won�t be making the trip to Indy since he caught the bird flu.�

  3. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    John Beilein (9-20, 5-12)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Duffy�s, 420 W Diversey Pkwy (773-549-9090)

    SPECIALS
    $25 �hoops buffet� of pub grub that includes wells, wine, soda and domestic drafts (Thu, Fri 10am-3pm)

    GRAD RATE
    57%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �Wright, Sims, Udoh, Harris, Grady�there�s your new �Fab Five.�?�

  4. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Tom Izzo (24-6, 12-5)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    The Gin Mill, 2462 N Lincoln Ave (773-549-3232)

    SPECIALS
    $8 Coors Light, Bud Light, Miller Lite, Bud and MGD pitchers

    GRAD RATE
    67%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �How tough is State? Youtube the video of Sparty kicking Mr. Potato�s ass. I mean, picking on vegetables?�

  5. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Tubby Smith (18-11, 8-9)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Redmond�s, 3358 N Sheffield Ave (773-404-2151)

    SPECIALS
    $3 European drafts (Guinness and Bass, among others) as well as $4 Absolut cocktails

    GRAD RATE
    38%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �Can you explain to me how Kevin McHale, Garrison Keillor and Prince hail from the �Land of 10,000 Lakes�?�

  6. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Bill Carmody (8-20, 1-16)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Tommy Nevin�s, 1450 Sherman Ave, Evanston (847-869-0450)

    SPECIALS
    When you win just one Big Ten game, your �home bar� waits till the Big Dance for the promos ($8 Sam Adams pitchers, Sony flat-screen TV giveaways).

    GRAD RATE
    89%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �After this season, the University of Chicago Maroons are poised to replace the Wildcats in the Big Ten.�

  7. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Thad Motta (18-12, 9-8)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    McGee�s Tavern, 950 W Webster Ave (773-549-8200)

    SPECIALS
    $7 32-oz domestic draws and giveaways like T�s, keychains and drinking gloves.

    GRAD RATE
    40%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �How�s Greg Oden faring in his rookie year with the Trail Blazers?�

  8. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Bill Carmody (8-20, 1-16)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Tommy Nevin�s, 1450 Sherman Ave, Evanston (847-869-0450)

    SPECIALS
    When you win just one Big Ten game, your �home bar� waits till the Big Dance for the promos ($8 Sam Adams pitchers, Sony flat-screen TV giveaways).

    GRAD RATE
    89%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �After this season, the University of Chicago Maroons are poised to replace the Wildcats in the Big Ten.�

  9. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Ed DeChellis (14-15, 6-11)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Dark Horse Tap and Grille, 3443 N Sheffield Ave (773-248-4400)

    SPECIALS
    Depending on the day (and how loud the Nittany Lions roar) you can score a Smithwick�s or a Guinness for $3 as well as $4 vodka Red Bulls.

    GRAD RATE
    64%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �The Nittany Nation takes a back-seat to only the Yankees nation in terms of popularity across the country.�

  10. COACH, RECORD (OVERALL, CONFERENCE)
    Matt Painter (23-7, 14-3)

    WHERE TO WATCH
    Durkin�s, 810 W Diversey Pkwy (773-525-2515)

    SPECIALS
    $20 scores you grazing rights to pub grub buffet as well as domestic draws and wells

    GRAD RATE
    91%

    TALKING POINTS (IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HORSE�S ARSE)
    �Who ever heard of a team mascot being named after a drink?�

Breaking down the Big Ten

Before the Big Ten tourney tips off on the Big Ten Network at noon Thursday 13, improve your hoops IQ with this primer (jump to bigten.com for up-to-the minute times and seedings). Next up is "selection Sunday," the official beginning of the country's largest illegal betting pool, which airs on CBS at 5pm.

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