Heard on the street, October 27, 2011, edition

Do you wanna go back and talk to my 15-year-old self? I sure don’t.

I could fly higher than an eagle, because you are the wind beneath my knees.

I’m not antisocial, but if we’re not boozing, I don’t want to eat no damn sushi.

I might need to watch it again. I was fucked up on drugs and dozing off.

“Are you an anti-dentite?” “Yes, I’m a fucking anti-dentite!”

I thought it was just okay, but I have better taste than everyone.

It’s because I took, like, 17 tequila shots before I made the phone call.

I haven’t actually been diagnosed. I’m not sure I really want to know.

Just got a little white dove tattooed on my big, dirty monster.

I love smelling my dog’s ear infection.