The rare San Francisco native was born into the local culture, but for the masses of San Francisco newcomers, getting acclimatized to our customs and quirks can take some time. Even so, San Francisco isn't for everyone. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for these 17 signs that you might not make it in the City by the Bay:
1. You're not really, really into food. San Francisco has some of the best restaurants and chefs in the world, and we take it really, really seriously. If you regard an artisan bowl of pho as fast food, you won't fit in.
2. You have no patience for public transit. Muni is less reliable than your ex. Get used to it or get a bike.
3. You don't like waiting in line. Good luck getting a scoop of decent ice cream without a 45-minute wait.
4. You enjoys "seasons." It's always party cloudy and 65 degrees here, whether it's Christmas Day or the Fourth of July.
5. You don't vote. They call it "San Francisco values" for a reason. We legalized gay marriage right away, offer subsidized health care with Healthy San Francisco and host more protests than parades. At the very least, a passing interest in politics is mandatory.
6. You go to Burning Man. Five years ago, okay. But anyone who goes to Burning Man these days is about as hip as our dad's fun friend from Rotary.
7. You don't compost. It's the law. You literally have to save your moldy garbage.
8. You're a member of the middle class. We're all either paupers or billionaires. If you can pay your bills comfortably but don't own a private jet, you belong in Walnut Creek, not San Francisco.
9. You don't use social media. First of all, you're lying. We all know about your secret Facebook account that you use to e-stalk everyone you know. Second of all, #getoveryourself.
10. You're not a drinker. San Francisco can be a tough town for those who don't imbibe. We're swimming in fine wines and craft beers.
11. You have weak calves. Walking most places in San Francisco requires a serious hike. True San Franciscans tackle a 4-block 75% incline without breaking a sweat (it helps that it's always cold here).
12. You're not tech savvy. We use apps for everything, because we invented those apps. All transportation, dating, breaking news, food delivery, bill paying, blog writing, communicating and basic human functioning is done through a smartphone.
13. You shop at big box stores. The nearest Walmart is in Oakland. The nearest K-Mart is in Pinole. The nearest (good) Target is in Colma. As a result, any San Franciscan with a big car is instantly popular on weekends.
14. You're not an animal person. Pets are welcome here just about everywhere humans are. It's far too expensive to raise children in San Francisco. We shower our love on our animals.
15. You don't speak any Spanish or Mandarin. Not only is speaking even a few phrases of another language incredibly cool, it can save the day in San Francisco.
16. You prefer to live alone. Good luck affording a "junior studio" without a roommate, much less a 2-bedroom.
17. You don't like watching movies just because they're set in San Francisco. The night Blue Jasmine opened, the City basically shut down. We're still talking about Bullitt. And you should know the Mrs. Doubtfire house address by heart (2640 Steiner Street).