Pho-Siam Thai Spa

If you liked to be pulled, punched and stepped on, this is the place for you. Thai massage isn't for everyone, especially when it's done so traditionally (read: aggressively). You're not there to be pampered (okay, they do massage you with oil for a bit, and the head/neck massage is also quite nice), you're there to be worked on. And walked on. You'll be taken to one in a double row of treatment areas, sectioned off by heavy curtains. Each one has its own changing vestibule, where you'll strip down and pull on a pair of loose fisherman's pants. You'll notice strips of fabric hanging from the ceiling above you, which is what your therapist will hold onto while she works on you with her feet. Averse to feet? Stay away. Your treatment will be half exctasy half exorcism, and if you're into that sort of thing, it's pretty great. Afterward you're rewarded with a bottle of water and a candy bowl to grab from on your way out—it's a little more Halloween than healthy living, but hey, we'll take a fun-size Snickers anytime. The best thing about Pho-Siam—other than it being one of the few good massage spots on the east side—is that it's pretty cheap: $75 for a 90 minute massage is a damn good deal.