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[title]Sharon Dornberg-Lee still remembers ringing the doorbell at the house of an old lady on her street when she went trick-or-treating as a kid. "She yelled, 'There's nobody home,' in a witchlike cackle, and that disembodied voice echoing down the stairs really scared me," recalls the Chicago mother of a five-year-old girl.
That memory makes Dornberg-Lee more cautious at Halloween with her daughter, who wants to trick-or-treat this year with a bunch of older kids—and without her mother. "I think younger children need help navigating and understanding some of the unfamiliar experiences they may encounter, however benign they may turn out to be," she says.
From Harry Potter to Star Wars, most kids' everyday lives contain at least some stimuli designed to generate a bit of spinetingling. But at Halloween, when everyone from your decoration-happy (or old and cranky) neighbor to kids cable-television channels ups the ante, it's probably smart to exercise caution when considering what kids are ready to handle.
"Scary elements are omnipresent in a kid's world today—they're part of the mainstream," says Elizabeth W. Hletko, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating children with anxiety disorders. "But parents should consider what they're coming in contact with normally. This is not the time of year to push things."
The types of toys, games and shows that are part of a kid's everyday world are a good indication of what he or she can tolerate at Halloween, says Hletko, who has a practice in Hinsdale. "Consider their ability to comprehend a cartoon image—like Casper the Ghost—versus a more frightening one," she says. "Realistic-looking violence, like someone walking around with a plastic hatchet and fake blood coming out of his head, might be too much to handle for a child under eight. Toddlers, who are trying to get a grasp on the world around them, might be frightened by something that pops out unexpectedly from a familiar place."
For that reason, Hletko says it's important to take age recommendations seriously. "Knowing your child is really the key," she says. "It's unlikely that a child who is normally not very fearful will become so at Halloween, but kids who do scare easily may pick up images that stick with them."
With some precautions, even haunted houses—which are designed to scare—don't have to be off-limits, Hletko says. Visiting during the daytime or choosing one that's purposefully illuminated or has a lot of things to touch can take some of the mystery and fear away. "Preparing kids by talking beforehand about what to expect also normalizes the experience," she adds.
Parents can do their homework by checking out websites like www.hauntedhousechicago.com and www.hauntedillinois.com, which list descriptions, age-appropriate information and reviews for many local haunted houses, plus some pictures.