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Dish names we don't want to say out loud

Restaurants and bars are giving their dishes names that are childish, punny or just too embarrassing to order

Photograph: Martha Williams
Coffee Drank at Stella Barra.

It happens all the time—a menu lists a dish or drink that sounds delicious, but the name is so utterly absurd or embarrassing to say out loud that we never, ever order it. There are dishes that sound like they belong on a children's menu or were named by a five-year-old. Some dish names are dirty puns that you'd never utter in front of your mother. Some are even racist or sexist. From "sandos" to "Cameltoe," here are 20 restaurants and bars serving dishes and drinks we just don't want to order.

Pretty offensive

"Model Diet" at ROOF at the Wit

"Redhead in Bed" at 25 Degrees

"Hefe's Blackout Marg" at El Hefe Supermacho Taqueria

"Miso Hungry" at Girl and the Goat

"Bare-It-All-Rito" at Cesar's

"The Motherclucker" at Rockit Burger Bar

"Tonya Harding Club" at Chicago Bagel Authority

Ew, gross

"Cameltoe" at Piece

"Crabby Balls" at Dick's Last Resort

"Loaded Ta-Tas" at Hamburger Mary's

Just dumb

"Kimchee & Bacon & Eggs & Pancakes Asian-Style Breakfast Tasty Thing" at Little Goat

"Green Eggs and Ham Sando" and "Coffee Drank" at Stella Barra

"Moo Burger" and "Oink Burger" at Knife & Tine

"Neatloaf" at Beatrix

"Giddyup Fries" at Bub City

"Grape Drank" at Trenchermen

"Peanut Butter Koopa-Troopa" at Wormhole

"Pier-nut Butter & Jelly," "South Acai'd," "Wrigley Peeled" at Protein Bar

"Da Pork Sammich" at JP Burke's Patio

"Vindalupe Fiasco" at Bad Apple


Scott K
Scott K

There used to be a chain of shops in US malls called Yummyland. Every item on the menu had a stupid name I didn't want to say, like Yummy Yundae or Yummy Yogurt. I think I just pointed and grunted.