The 10 craziest things we overheard in Chicago this week

We eavesdrop on Chicagoans on the street and the El, in bars and buses, and everywhere in between to bring you funny and baffling quips



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  • Photograph: Taylor Castle

Photograph: Taylor Castle

He was belly-wet wasted.

I don't know what the Elvish word for vagina is.

I would like music festivals if it weren't for the people.

I am the best sandworm of all time.

This is like Harry Potter meets Schindler's List.

Can I buy me a shot right now and make you forget what I just said?

According to the clowns, they are here for their their Grandma's funeral.

Did you at least take the almonds out to dinner before you started molesting them?

Would you rather be a wolf or a slightly bigger, more powerful wolf?

I just don’t remember shitting in Vegas.

If you're eavesdropping around town, e-mail us the funny, outrageous stuff you've heard. You might see the quotes in the next edition.

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September 11, 2014

It's like a vacation for your mouth.

Here, economics books, they're certainly useless.

I consider myself to be very good at picking things.

All I ever wanted in life was more balls.

My gym clothes have fermented well.

I am not a chalkboard.

Band-Aids are better at being skin than skin.

"It's like Uber for prescription drugs." "That's nothing like Uber."

I fall asleep at parties. That's kind of my thing.

You’re a bloody tissue.