The 10 craziest things we overheard in Chicago this week

We eavesdrop on Chicagoans on the street and the El, in bars and buses, and everywhere in between to bring you funny and baffling quips



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  • Photograph: Taylor Castle

Photograph: Taylor Castle

The champagne really compliments fried things.

I like a butterface.

At 10.5 months she's going to pop out a four pound tarantula.

White people don't eat chicken in stores.

Well, he's funny, he should be fat.

We're reading Chicken Soup for the MBA asshole's soul.

People waiting for the bus always look sad.

I don't know that you're going to feel very comfortable dancing in a diaper.

My mom's almost a midget.

He seems like the kind of guy who likes Christmas.

If you're eavesdropping around town, e-mail us the funny, outrageous stuff you've heard. You might see the quotes in the next edition.

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August 21, 2014

You might as well be a eunuch.

I would've done that Twinkie thing in a heartbeat.

I'm like a mechanic who can't drive.

This guy's giving me an enema, wanna go on a first date?

Stop, that's not good for your brain.

These fucking kids use too many hash tags.

If I went on a date with a girl with an English accent, it would be really, really strange for me.

"You know what the funny thing about concentration camps is?" "Everything."

Can I borrow your tiger?

I had to sit on the curb for an hour waiting for my friends because one of them was passed out.