You don�t want to be in diapers at 40.
I have a lot of gay friends, but he�s the gayest.
Someone tells me that bad tattoos are a new thing and that people like them.
I was kind of a church lady in college.
You know what I�m into, hipster? Douche-bag stuff. I like to go do douche-bag-y things.
I was going to go to a funeral tomorrow, but I�m not really in the mood to hear crying.
It�s like an arsenic sundae with a cherry on top.
I told her I was a Republican and she didn�t speak to me for ten minutes.
Why aren�t you wearing shoes? You look like a Hobbit.
Have you ever seen Portlandia? Austin is like that.
He�s definitely not someone you�d wanna see naked.