Heard on the street, January 17, 2013

I don�t wear coats. I get claustrophobic.

A pi�ata with a pregnant lady. This is cool.

Let�s not count our racist chickens before they hatch.

�Didn�t you have a weird hole?� �I have a couple of weird holes.�

Spare some change? I�d like to get some socks. Someone peed in my socks.

I don�t mind drinking out of a plastic cup. It reminds me of drinking at Pizza Hut.

�They didn�t have a family pet growing up?� �No, they can only love themselves.�

His dick is so big, if he pees sitting down, it touches the water.

The bums are so happy to have a nice, new McDonald�s. They look so happy in there.

If you ever feel like a bad human being, just look on Twitter.