Heard on the street, January 24, 2013

Do you have something in a binge-drinking-friendly light beer?

My second girlfriend denies we were ever going out, and I think she was right.

It was poppin� like Orville Redenbacher up in that joint.

I�m famous in some circles. Sex circles.

There�s hemp cream all around us.

You never had kids. Why are you talking to me about parenting?

He�s a grown-ass man with a baby and he asked for a Lava lamp?

The Christmas tree in the bathroom makes me cry.

I ain�t your cow, honey, so why are you trying to milk me?

It looks like something you�d give away at a baby shower.

I only know two Sloanes, and they�re both hot. I also knew a dude named Shayla.