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Heard on the street, March 14, 2013, edition

By Time Out editors Wed Mar 13 2013

Comments

It�s my birthday and you�re talking about killing my dog.
I wanna go white-water rafting. I want my life in God�s hands for two hours.
When I get a dick pic, I know I�ve done something right.
There�s a woman here named Hamlet.
You don�t look like a person who missed a meal.
I beat Super Mario Kart while nursing your sister. Give me some credit!
Remember when I ran around that bar in assless underwear?
I never thought my morning routine would consist of me squatting on the floor fingering myself.
See, you�re not so bad when you�re not shitting the bed.
If straight men ever figure out how much fun dick is, our species is really in trouble.