Heard on the street, March 14, 2013, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.

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  • It�s my birthday and you�re talking about killing my dog.

  • I wanna go white-water rafting. I want my life in God�s hands for two hours.

  • When I get a dick pic, I know I�ve done something right.

  • There�s a woman here named Hamlet.

  • You don�t look like a person who missed a meal.

  • I beat Super Mario Kart while nursing your sister. Give me some credit!

  • Remember when I ran around that bar in assless underwear?

  • I never thought my morning routine would consist of me squatting on the floor fingering myself.

  • See, you�re not so bad when you�re not shitting the bed.

  • If straight men ever figure out how much fun dick is, our species is really in trouble.

It�s my birthday and you�re talking about killing my dog.

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