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Aisling Bea’s ones to watch in 2014

Irish stand-up Aisling Bea is the one to watch in 2014. But what will she be watching this year? She gives Time Out her confident predictions

© Karla Gowlett

Mark my words: it won’t be long before you’re sat among 3,000 other bandwagon-jumpers in a massive theatre, having fought for a ticket to see Aisling Bea. The Kildare-born comic is having the sort of rocket-propelled comedy career than most new stand-ups wistfully dream of. She’s been on the circuit for a little over two years but is already popping up on panel shows and sitcoms, has received a Best Newcomer nomination at the Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Awards and has had a movie commissioned by the Irish Film Board.

Yep, this 29-year-old is the one to watch stand-up of 2014. But what does Bea reckon you should be looking out for this year? We asked the fast-rising star for her trends for the next 12 months.

‘Check out “Scratch”, about the history of hip hop DJing and how it all began on the New York streets in the ’70s. If you watch closely, you will see that I get mentioned absolutely nowhere in it. Also watch “Pussy Riot – A Punk Prayer”. Made before their release, but still an excellent account of what happened, and not too biased either. You’ll be cutting holes in your bobble hats in no time.’

‘What are you? Some kind of exhibitionist? We can see inside! Close your curtains (again, not a euphemism), or don’t be surprised when I hover outside your window trying to work out what books you own and whether your relationship will last.’

‘I’m not the only jackass in town with a show. John Kearns, Romesh Ranganathan and the incomparable Bridget Christie will knock the air out of your chest with laughter. For a mixed bill, The Alternative Memorial Society is one of my favourite gigs where all the comedians try out their new stuff.’

‘Google is filming your homes from tiny cars, robots are working supermarket checkouts and Obama is reading your Facebook statuses without liking them so you never know which ones he thinks are good. What to do? Log off for an hour and go for a walk before your brain explodes. There are lots of real cats doing funny things in real life.’

‘A “suspended coffee” is a charitable system that began a while ago in coffee shops, but not everyone knows about it. Buy your hot drink and then buy another for someone who can’t afford one. They “suspend” it until someone pops in to claim it, or tot up the cash and give teas to homeless shelters.’

‘…Coming over here stealing your jobs. As one of these dirty thieves myself, I feel particularly guilty about all the handjobs I’ve taken from ordinary, decent, British people. Sorry about that, guys.’