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LA Jesus
Photograph: Jakob N. Layman

Ask LA Jesus: First date advice

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LA Jesus
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Dear LA Jesus: I have a first date this weekend. Where should we go? (And would it be a sin to go all the way?)

My child: Go to eat at Mr. Chow. That ought to be good enough for you. If it's not then God help you because that's where God eats.

Mr. Chow and I discussing your first date. Photograph by Jerry Weber.

If you need a room the Montage is right around the corner and it ought to be good enough for you too—because that's where God lives—in the 5 bedroom 3 1/2 bathroom corner penthouse.

I remember my first date

I remember what I ate

It was green and had a pit

It was olive, that was it

I ate olive, all of olive

All of, all of, all of olive

Ate that olive, every bit

Yes I did, I ate the pit

Friends whatever you decide

Make Time Out LA your guide

Keep it simple, get some food

Eat according to the mood.

Amen

If you have some tough questions or are in need of advice, ask me, LA Jesus, in the comments section below. Just don't expect any miracles.

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