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The world’s worst and/or best pick up lines

Pick-up lines from around the world that actually work on live human beings (scientifically proven!)


We learned many interesting things from the epic and informative Time Out Global Dating Survey 2015. But by far the most distressing fact was that the age of seduction by witty one-liner appears to be over. (Unless you live in Paris, where over 25% of both men and women are still getting plenty of hook-up mileage from verbal fromage. See ‘French’, below.)

That said, many of our 11,000 survey respondents did admit to either having recently scored or been charmed into submission with a cheeky gambit. Here is a selection from our definitive stockpile of the best pick up lines in the world. And remember: these actually worked. On people. According to state-of-the-art survey science. Speaking of which…

 

Nerds

© pio3/Shutterstock.com

‘Your phone seems to have an error in the system – it doesn’t have my number in it.’
Worked on: Female, 20-24, London.

‘You are hotter than a bunsen burner on full blast.’
Used by: Male, 25-29, New York.

‘Good thing I brought my library card, cause I’d love to check you out.’
Used by: Female, 35-39, New York.

‘Is your nickname homework? Because I’m not doing you but I should be.’
Used by: Female, 20-24, London.

‘If you were a triangle you would be acute one.’
Used by: Female, 20-24, London.

‘Do you have eleven protons? Because you are sodium fine.’
Used by: Female, 20-24, Sydney.

‘Are you my appendix? Because I have a feeling in my stomach that I should take you out.’
Used by: Female, 25-29, Kuala Lumpur.

‘How come you’re an I.T. guy and not a model?’
Used by: Female, 55-64, Miami.

‘Do you like Harry Potter? ‘Cos I’d like to Weasley my way into your pants.’
Worked on: Female, 25-29, London.

‘Was your ass forged by Sauron? ‘Cos your ass is precious.’
Used by: Female, 16-19, Dallas.

 

Postmodernists

© Sfio Cracho/Shutterstock.com

‘Did you fall from heaven? Because have sex with me.’
Worked on: Male, 25-29, Melbourne.

‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you look like it did.’
Worked on: Female, 30-34, London.

‘Have you been running through my mind all day, or are you just sweaty?’
Used by: Female, 20-25, London.

‘Want to go halves on a bastard?’
Worked on: Female, 30-34, Edinburgh.

‘You’ll do.’
Used by: Female, 25-29, London.

 

Smoothmerchants

© Paul Guzzo/Shutterstock.com

‘Oh! You dropped something! My jaw…’
Worked on: Female, 25-29, New York.

‘Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.’
Used by: Female, 30-34, Hong Kong.

‘That shirt is becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I would be coming too.’
Used by: Female, 20-24, Paris.

‘Are you a beaver – ‘cos dam!’
Worked on: Female, 20-24, London.

‘How about we take this party to a more horizontal location?’
Worked on: Female, 25-29, Melbourne.

‘Fancy an -ate? I’ll give you the ‘D’ later.’
Worked on: Female, 20-24, London.

‘If you were fruit, you’d be fineapple.’
Worked on: Female, 25-29, London.

 

Creeps

© CHAINFOTO24/Shutterstock.com

‘You’ve got nice eyes. Can I touch them?’
Worked on: Female, 35-39, London.

‘You look like you’d fit into my dead wife’s clothes.’
Worked on: Female, 30-34, London.

‘I wish I was one of your tears so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and die in your mouth.’
Worked on: Female, 30-34, New York.

 

 

Site-specific

© Gualberto Becerra/Shutterstock.com

‘Are you the Gulf of Mexico? Because I wanna drill you and make a huge mess.’
Worked on: Female, 20-24, New York.

‘Are you from Africa? Because ah-friggin love you.’
Used by: Female, 20-24, London.

‘I’m Caucasian. Which, if you don’t know, is Asian with a big ‘cauc’ in front of it.’
Used by: Male, 25-29, Los Angeles.

‘Are you Jewish? Because you Israeli fit.’
Worked on: Female, 20-25, London.

 

French

© Shcherbakov Ilya/Shutterstock.com

(Pick-up lines submitted to Time Out Paris’s part of the survey. NB: These sound much better in French.)

‘I don’t have kids.’
Used by: Undisclosed gender, 30-34, Paris.

‘We should have an apple pie party.’
Used by: Female, 25-29, Paris.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll tell your mum that we met at a conference on the geopolitics of European borders.’
Used by: Female, 25-29, Lyon.

‘Can I see your socks?’
Used by: Female, 25-29, Paris.

‘You have arms like shrimps.’
Used by: Female, 25-29, Paris.

 
… But it turns out that as long as you speak with a British accent you can say pretty much anything and you’re automatically in. Find out why – and lots of other essential dating data – with the
TIME OUT GLOBAL DATING SURVEY 2015


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