Per its online mission statement, SantaCon is a "not-for-profit, non-political, non-religious and non-sensical Santa Claus convention." But really, it's a raucous, R-rated pub crawl—which doesn't stop some parents from participating with toddlers in tow. Holiday apparel is mandatory, whether you're a fully suited Santa (no hats-only tagalongs), Santa-saurus, Candy Cane, Hanukkah Chicken or Latke. But your best bet is to gape at the passing spectacle from a safe distance. Although Santas are instructed to treat children nicely—with some kind and sober souls handing out candy and small toys—the guidelines also winkingly condone parade-goer urination on parents and tourists. You have been warned. Ages 5 and up.