The Vaults

Opening in time for Spooky Season and running through to May 2026, ‘Dark Secrets’ is a massive new exhibition of esoteric artefacts in Waterloo’s appropriately dingy Vaults – and a cracking day out for anyone into the occult, macabre or bizarre. A sprawling labyrinth of 27 rooms, ‘Dark Secrets’ is fundamentally an exhibition of stuff: more than 1,000 individual artefacts, many of them (apparently) displayed for the first time outside of private collections. Ritual masks, cursed dolls, leather-bound Renaissance books on witchcraft, a fragment of Aleister Crowley’s Thelema temple… if your idea of fun is gawping at weird and creepy shit (and mine certainly is), there’s a lot of it here – and it’s a refreshing change from the wave of immersive ‘exhibitions’ which often don’t amount to much more than a blank room with some projectors in. There is a vaguely chronological structure, running from Celtic druids through to the influence of the esoteric on Hollywood and comics. Horror-movie fans, look out for the original screenplay of Suspiria signed by Dario Argento. Along the way there are rooms dedicated to folkloric creatures, shamanism, voodoo, zombies, satanism, spiritualism, witch trials, Freemasonry, curses, miracles, divination, astrology, tarot… it’s like an occult bookshop brought to life. My favourite item in the show was an (ostensibly genuine) Victorian vampire-hunting kit. But I was also fascinated by a room about the collision of technology and science with the...

Were the Ancient Greeks really this horny? That was the main question running through my mind during Ancient Grease, a fringe musical parody of Grease, set in Ancient Greece, where the plot revolves around an orgy, olive oil is used as lube, and there’s a running joke about Ares the god of war being into butt stuff. If this description sounds all Greek to you, you are absolutely not the target audience for Ancient Grease. But if outrageous, ribald humour is your bag, then read on. I think you may enjoy this show.  Twists duly accepted, the plot is pretty recognisable as Grease. The monogamous and prudish goddess of marriage Hera (our Sandy) is looking for a loyal man to marry, but the three Fates, dressed in sparkling gold outfits with matching cat-eye sunglasses, have other ideas. They determine that Hera ends up with the bro-ish and philandering head of the Alphas, Zeus (this version’s Danny), played by the hilariously gormless Peter Camilleri who sports a fitting fuck-boy mullet. The action takes place during senior year at Olympus Academy as the gods get ready for the big event of the season: the school orgy. Ancient Grease is written by drag artist Lady Aria Grey and directed by Dan Wye, also known as the legendary drag act Séayoncé.  It’s a riot throughout. When it comes to dirty jokes, this parody musical really commits to the bit. From start to finish it’s a constant barrage of sex puns, gyrating, air humping and lewd gestures. There are other perhaps more...