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Al Murray the Pub Landlord's South Bank pub crawl

The guvnor himself maps out the pint perfect route to his Southbank saloon


Illustration Ellen Wishart
Pub crawling is a noble art – it’s not for the fainthearted and you have to get it right. My advice: have a game plan and an end in sight. The combination of boozing and frequent movement offsets the possibility of getting utterly bladdered, and the prospect of a finish line means you can stagger into the final pub like a marathon runner with friends.

The South Bank offers the crawling drinker a plethora of alcoholic establishments (and a Slug and Lettuce). So, you’ve donned your sturdy walking shoes, you’ve popped to the cashpoint – let’s crawl!

Okay, the name is the wrong way round, and it’s a gastropub, but there’s a mighty fine selection of draught beers to sample here, so it makes a good first stop. If you’re going to eat, best make sure your party doesn’t include any veggies – this is a pub that revels in carnivorism. (Is that a word? It is now.)
36 The Cut, SE1 8LP

All pub crawls should include a KA, and this one – with its hanging baskets, top-notch ales and sticky wooden floor – is a classic. Drink number two, sorted.
25 Roupell St, SE1 8TB

Stop number three is situated opposite the ITV studios, so you might catch Ant and Dec enjoying a swift pint (between them).
89 Upper Ground, SE1 9PP

You can’t go to Waterloo and ignore this railway arch gaff. Sup a mild, and you’re ready for the home straight…
5 Mepham St, SE1 8SQ

For three Saturdays only, I’ve got myself a tent, a bar, a band, a variety show and an audience – you! – and I look forward to seeing you at the end of your crawl. Cheers!
London Wonderground, Jubilee Gardens, SE1 8XX