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It’s another cackle-inducing adult panto from legendary gay theatre Above the Stag Theatre, this time tacking that ultimate tale of Stockholm Syndrome – ‘Beauty and the Beast’. Except that *PLOT TWIST* Belle is a very promiscuous twink called Beau, who spends his time with his head in arses instead of books; a slut in a rut, he vows to ‘widen my horizon like I’ve widened my hole.’
All of the usual ‘Beauty and the Beast’ trimmings are here but slightly twisted: the wilting rose in a bell jar is replaced by a limp penis-flytrap plant; Louis the candlestick morphs between household objects, from loo-brush to teapot – she effectively plays all of the ‘Be Our Guest’ gang. And in this version the fairy who puts the curse on the Beast wears a sequinned cocktail dress and actually hangs around for the duration of the story, which is good because she’s great.
The villain of the piece is Sebastian, a property magnate keen to develop Swiss ski resort Les De Nice into something altogether swankier. Far too handsome to hate, his headgear changes from pink Wayfarer, to mustard macramé headband to bright bobble hat – effectively the only indication of the passing of time.
It’s less crude than previous years’ pantos and a lot more feel-good, with jokes that centre on v non-sexy topics of Brexit and Trump. Hitherto light relief Mac, brilliantly played by fresh-from-stage-school Ross Tucker, delivers a rousing speech about how he ‘wants a wee lass who lets him touch her pussy because she wants him to’ – an unexpected but fabulously feminist moment. But it’s Morag, the Widow-Twanky character who gets the line of the night, ‘If life was fair I wouldn’t be here while Sarah Harding swans about on tour with “Ghost the Musical”.’ – Preach, Morag.