My kids’ friends weren’t allowed to watch The Simpsons at their house, but I’d let them watch it when they came over. Their mom totally caught me. —Emily, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
I let my lactose intolerant child have ice cream before her birthday party—She spent more time throwing up than hitting the piñata. —Bill, West Village
I made a bunch of Jell-O shot oranges and sliced them up for a party. I turned around and my son was face deep in them. —Jane, Gowanus, Brooklyn
Annie kept telling me her heart hurt, so I brought her to the emergency room. In the waiting room, she says, “My heart hurts! Dan doesn’t want to be my friend.” —Samantha, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
My son Max was selling his little brother “magic drink” [sugar water] and taking his allowance. —Thomas, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
My daughter shared in class that "Mom likes to drink wine in the bathtub and Dad likes to pee in the woods." —Charlene, Park Slope, Brooklyn
John was alone with a spoon and a jar of peanut butter. Well, he filled a few "holes" in the wall (electrical sockets) for us...he's fine, but OMG. —Jess, West Village
I cleaned out the backpack my daughter takes to preschool and found a stack of beer coasters in the pocket. —Evelyn, Bronx
I once sat my son on the beach without a diaper. He decided, in front of 20 startled onlookers, that now was the best time to go to the bathroom. —Mark, Morningside Heights
We showed my daughter how to flip pancakes one morning, and I ended up burning her on the stomach with the frying pan. —Sarah, Huntington
I accidentally hit my head on the monkey bars and knocked myself out. When I woke up, my daughter was about a football field away. —Linda, midtown
When I was showing off my engagement ring to my sister, my two-year-old niece, Amanda, asked "Is that from QVC?" —Kay, Crown Heights, Brooklyn
We took a two-hour road trip on our family vacation. It wasn't until we reached our destination that we realized we'd left our five-year-old back at the lodge. —Kim, Rockville Centre, Long Island
While Christmas shopping, my one-year-old managed to get on the escalator alone—I just watched and prayed she didn't fall. —Marcia, West Village
I accidentally hit my head on the monkey bars and knocked myself out. When I woke up, my daughter was about a football field away. —Jean, Harlem
I was having difficulty unwrapping a Barbie doll for my three-year-old and she said "Hurry up and open it before I turn four!" —Dave, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Sometimes, we're bad moms and dads, okay? Laugh now and deny it later.
Between idyllic trips to NYC’s 25 best playgrounds in New York City, exploring amazing museum exhibits for kids and enjoying family lunches at your favorite family restaurants, life can be less than picture-perfect. Let’s be real—even the best moms and dads make a mistake now and then! See our favorite funny fails from parents around the city.
Discover Time Out original video