Scott Aukerman Versus Eric Andre

These talk-show hosts face their deadliest opponents: each other.



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Scott Aukerman and Eric Andre

Scott Aukerman and Eric Andre Illustration: Kyle Fewell

Though Scott Aukerman’s arch, character-driven Comedy Bang! Bang! and Eric Andre’s manic, explosive The Eric Andre Show play on standard late-night tropes drawn from Johnny Carson and beyond, much of the humor in these talk shows comes from the curious imaginations of their hosts. Before Aukerman and Andre bring live versions of their programs—which air on IFC and Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, respectively—to town, TONY thought to turn each interviewer’s skills on the other. What follows is the battle that ensued.

Scott Aukerman: So, Eric, you are originally from Boca Raton, Florida.
Eric Andre: [Belches] Yeah.

Aukerman: You now live in Los Angeles and perform every night of the week.
Andre: [Belches]

Aukerman: You bring a manic energy to the stage, combining autobiographical experiences—
Andre: [Laughs] Are you reading my fucking Wikipedia [page]?

Aukerman: —politics and experimental psychedelic rambling. You were a finalist in NBC’s Stand-Up for Diversity showcase.
Andre: [Laughs] I was!

Aukerman: You were featured in the documentary special The Awkward Comedy Show and your sister’s name is Amy—
Andre: That’s on there?

Aukerman: So I guess my question is, can I be the one to update your Wikipedia page?
Andre: You sure can; I just took it down. So, here’s a true story: Scott Aukerman was a musical-theater major, got a starring role in Oklahoma! on Broadway and broke his leg. He was replaced by his understudy, Sidney Poitier.

Aukerman: It was weird for him. He’s such a huge star, an Academy Award nominee, if not a winner—I never asked him; everyone wondered why he understudied a nobody. He was playing my horse. That’s the strangest thing; I used to ride Sidney Poitier onstage and slap his butt to get him to go faster.
Andre: I’d pay $4,000 to see that.

Aukerman: Eric, what do you see yourself doing in five years? Follow-up question: How did you acquire your precognitive powers?
Andre: Five years… I’ll probably have been dead four years by then.

Aukerman: Out of everyone I know, you are the most RTD: ready to die.
Andre: I’m like one of those kids: “Oh man, did you hear that fucking Johnny drowned?” Don’t you think I’m in that category? Drowned tragically at a pool party or something?

Aukerman: Yeah. Your demise will be met with, like, an, “I figured.” Shrug. Eric, I would categorize your show as dangerous.
Andre: Oh? I would categorize your show as sexual. I end up masturbating every time I watch it.

Aukerman: You got arrested and spent the night in jail for your show, didn’t you?
Andre: Yeah, but you’re going to get me in trouble. I’ve gotten fucking scolded by every one of my reps not to talk about it until I go to court.

Aukerman: Well, I hope that you get off, because I want everyone in the world to know that celebrities can basically do whatever the fuck they want.
Andre: [Laughs] It’s true! We are above the law! [Singing] Time to murder and rape civilians! And then, a jihad! How about a Scott Aukerman–Eric Andre tour where we jihad into a building in every city we play?

Aukerman: After the first night, someone might try to stop us. But at the same time, I don’t think anyone is paying any attention to either of our shows, so they may not notice.

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