Free press, free speech, freedom to eat as many Habanero house-picked eggs as you can in five minutes. Haymaker will award the winner $250 cash, which can buy you 83 boozy snow cones (they're on special for $3). The $20 contest entry includes a commemorative Fourth of July T-shirt and a drink of choice (like a digestif). The fees and a portion of all sales during the event will be donated to Helping Hand Home for Children. You can sign up at Haymaker or by emailing email@example.com.