Comedian James Hamilton of sketch group Casual Violence outlines the five steps to going solo ahead of his free Fringe show 'James Hamilton is So Lonely'.
Thinking of abandoning your trusty sketch group and going it alone? Convinced you're the real talent behind the team? Think you need to be free from the burden of having friends to play with? Here's a step-by-step guide to coping without the dead weight / the people who successfully compensated for your weaknesses as a writer and performer, resulting in your false sense of competence and self-worth (delete as appropriate).
1. Burn the bridge, then burn any nearby bridge-making materials
You’ll never feel motivated to make your first solo show amazing while you have a safety net to fall back on. So look back on the five years of comradeship you’ve cultivated with your former group members, and mine those experiences for reasons to make them hate you. Undermine your erstwhile friends using embarrassing anecdotes or things they told you in confidence. Bonus points for irrevocably betraying their trust. Remember how Dave made you promise never to tell anyone that sometimes he gets into a very dark place and eats an entire loaf of granary bread in one sitting (with no butter) as a kind of punishment for himself, while repeating 'I wish I wasn’t me' through every mouthful? Tell everyone that tidbit in an article for Time Out. Once they all want nothing more to do with you: the only way is forward!
2. Prevent them from competing with you
If any of them suggest writing their own solo show, undermine their confidence by saying, 'Have you considered getting a co-writer?' Also, to make sure they don’t ever get booked anywhere, go around every Fringe programmer in London claiming to run your own performance space, and bitch about the way they left your venue. Bonus points again if you warn them that Luke traditionally vomits on the nearest curtain just before a show, which is why we usually bring our own curtain to shows.
3. Remember their contributions, then imitate them
You know how your audience always used to laugh when Alex audibly farted on cue as the punchline of every sketch your old group did? Learn to do that! Then everyone will assume it was your idea in the first place.
4. When the reviews aren't as good without the group...
Write back to every reviewer and make friends with them. You’ll have realised by now that having a sketch group meant having friends to drink / commiserate with, and no fellow comedians want to hang out with you after what you did to your teammates. Also: once you’ve befriended the reviewers, you can explain that clever gag they didn’t quite understand - the one that actually makes it a four star show, not a three. And when they politely agree: strong-arm them into adjusting your star rating on their website.
5. When you don't win the Fosters Comedy Award for Best Newcomer...
Immediately form a new sketch act with those reviewers. You’ll only be eligible to win the Best Newcomer Award if you’re a new act. And you know by now that you’re not good enough to win the main award, so your only hope is repeatedly attempting to win the Best Newcomer Award by creating a new act every single year, ensuring the odds are stacked in your favour. You’re not good enough to win that one either, but keep creating new acts and taking them to Edinburgh until you either run out of money or everyone else does and you win by default.
And most importantly: have fun!
James Hamilton is So Lonely, Voodoo Rooms, Aug 7-31.