Comedian Phil Jerrod is attending this year's Fringe with his show 'Neanderthal'. Here, he discusses Fringe infections, escaping the madness and a three-star cafe.
We are about halfway through the Edinburgh Fringe now. Most people are ill. Too much booze, too little sleep and the fact that comedians don’t wash their hands mean the festival is a popular destination for all manner of airborne bacillus. As a result I have spent the majority of this year’s Fringe not touching anyone. (And also my wife made me promise.)
Doing a show for a whole month here can feel like you’ve decided to go on a dangerously introspective holiday at the bottom of a meat grinder. So this year I have been spending as much time as possible in some of the beautiful surroundings of the city to try and calm down.
This is totally my favourite part of Edinburgh pic.twitter.com/IMVjCddDyW
— Phil Jerrod (@PhilJerrod) August 20, 2015
Last week I had a very enjoyable morning’s walk along the Innocent Railway. The path here is leafy and well trodden with Americans trying to trap wild haggis. The way back to the city passes through one of the longest tunnels you will ever see. It is, I think, a pleasing metaphor for the festival. I found that if I squinted my eyes hard I could just see the light at the end of it - and then, just a little further on, a bill for six grand.
Hungry after my walk I popped my head into the 3 Star Cafe on Nicholson Street. I had heard good things about this cafe, but I’m sorry to say I left disappointed. Although the sausages were firm, and the tomato red and juicy, I found it ultimately unconvincing. I just didn’t believe this breakfast. At one point about halfway through I ate a bit of bacon and egg at the same time - an interesting moment of taste and texture that I am sorry to say wasn’t sustained.
"Forget it Jake..." pic.twitter.com/EZo5wjIedL
— Phil Jerrod (@PhilJerrod) August 14, 2015
Later in the week I popped on a pair of walking shoes and climbed to the top of Arthur's Seat. Feeling quite proud of myself I tweeted a selfie. I was then immediately inundated with messages informing me that I had only climbed the Salisbury Crags, and not Arthur’s Seat at all. Faced with the reality of the situation I re-evaluated my position and decided to pretend that I had really only ever intended to climb the Salisbury Crags in the first place. I’ll leave Arthur’s Seat for next year when I’ve got a bit more experience.
After that there was nothing left to do but forge back into the mists of the festival. I took my place alongside the wet flyerers, the a capella marching bands, the desperate comics, the shiftless journalists, the jugglers, actors, magicians and strippers all trudging fitfully towards their shows.
Phil Jerrod: Neanderthal, Pleasance Courtyard, until Aug 30, 7pm.