14 of the best jokes and one-liners ever told at the Edinburgh Fringe

TV channel U&Dave has taken it upon themselves to crown the ‘best joke’ of the Edinburgh Fringe each year. That’s quite a challenge, given that the arts festival welcomes in hundreds of shows and hopeful comics to the city. Its annual competition, the Funniest Joke of the Fringe, names a winner from a competition shortlist drawn up by a panel of comedy critics, before members of the public are asked to pick their three favourite jokes.

This year, Mark Simmons, who first got into comedy more than a decde ago, took home the award with his snappy one-liner about a ship, taken from his PHB’s Free Fringe show at the Liquid Room Annexe. In 2023, Lorna Rose Treen took home the prize with her gag about an unfaithful zookeeper, which was ranked one of the best by 44 percent of those surveyed.

It turns out U&Dave audiences basically like zingers, one-liners and snappy puns: there isn’t much overlap between this award and the much more progressive main comedy awards. The award made a return in 2022 after being off for two years because of the pandemic.

Keen to hear the previous winning jokes? Check them out below.

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The best jokes and one-liners ever told at the Edinburgh Fringe

2024 – Mark Simmons

‘I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it.’

2023 – Lorna Rose Treen

‘I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.’

2022 – Masai Graham

‘I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta.’

2019 – Olaf Falafel

‘I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower” – I think I might have Florets.’

2018 – Adam Rowe

‘Working at the job centre has to be a tense job: knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.’

2017 – Ken Cheng

‘I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.’

2016 – Masai Graham

‘My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.’

2015 – Tommy Tiernan

‘Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other: “Make an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”’

2014 – Tim Vine

‘I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.’

2013 – Rob Auton

‘I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.’

2012 – Stewart Francis

‘You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.’

2011 – Nick Helm

‘I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.’

2010 – Tim Vine

‘I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.’

2009 – Dan Antopolski

‘Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?’