2009, dir David Yates, 153 mins
In which romance blossoms, Voldemort’s Nazi army go on the rampage and a very important character falls from a very great height.
If Jenkins can settle into this one, he’ll probably enjoy it. The ‘Half-Blood Prince’ is the most easygoing of all the films, content to spend quality time with its central characters rather than chucking in too many new ones. But is it too late? Has fatigue set in? Or will the fact that Ron’s hair has now gone full Inspiral Carpets while Draco looks like a Dalston electro-spiv keep my colleague amused?
What did our Potternaut think?
‘A little potboilery, but engrossing. It seemed largely irrelevant that anyone knew magic. When are they going to start smoking bad rollies, buying porno and doing wheelspins in mum’s Nissan Sunny?’
For the first time since ‘Azkaban’, Jenkins seemed to care about the story to the extent that, like the dead bird in Draco’s vanishing cabinet, he actually ceased tweeting. I’m feeling weary and slightly tranquilised, but am doggedly determined to see this thing through to the finish.
But then, calamity. Claiming extreme nausea, wooziness and dehydration, Jenkins decides to throw in the towel to, as he says ‘prevent ensuing delirium’.
I am horrified. He had made a firm commitment and was he now going to break it over a small migraine, some nagging stomach pains and a general feeling of confusion, weakness and mania? This could not be allowed to happen. And so, out of the goodness of my heart, a brief hiatus was permitted. The Potternaut took a bath, ate a small dinner and returned refreshed.