The Dead Can't Lie

Eddie Mallard (Jones) is a piss-poor PI hired by Charlie, a very rich man, to find his wife Rachel (Madsen), whom he buried 10 years ago. She asked to be entombed naked except for her priceless jewels, and her husband obliged, but later had second thoughts, dug her up, and retrieved the rocks. Now she has returned to the land of the living to get them back. Soon Rachel and Eddie are power-showering away, Eddie convinced that Rachel is real, which she ain't. She's a succubus using him for her own evil ends, which entails quite a bit of nudity: Mr Jones is too old for this kind of thing. There's one good joke, albeit an old and sexist one. It might have been possible to view this catalogue of clichés as a tongue-in-cheek tribute to cornball cinema if irony hadn't been wholly absent. Mallard's movie is just a dead duck.