2 Fast 2 Furious

Test conditions: magazine screening, Empire Cinema, London, 06/06/03, 6.30pm. Vehicle type: sports/urban hybrid. Design team: Universal Studios (USA). Onboard management system: John Singleton. Brief description: shiny, mass-market import model designed for fine weather conditions; underachieving development of 2001 prototype The Fast and the Furious. Performance: results pending; blistering performance of prototype (in excess of $150m worldwide) unlikely. Vin Diesel injection: largely responsible for success of prototype, not provided here; deemed too costly? Specifications: designers have made significant weight reductions by providing ultra-light plot - disgraced ex-cop (Walker) gets shot at redemption on condition he and estranged buddy (Gibson) go undercover for Feds, etc. Well-worn chassis and running gear all too visible behind buffed-up, superficially appealing accessories (actors). Other components (cars, stunt sequences) bolted on to appeal to young male market - note shot of token female racer (Aoki) suggestively caressing gear knob! Handling: adequate. Good acceleration offset by poor endurance - after only 90 minutes, wheels fell off and vehicle ground to a disappointing halt. Safety features: no attempt made to reduce noise output of prototype - if anything, this model is louder. Comes with standard written warning of dangers inherent in emulating stunt drivers, but no warning of dangers inherent in spending hard-earned cash on (quote) 'Dukes of Hazzard shit'.