8 Million Ways to Die

What happened? With Ashby, Bridges, Arquette and a script co-written by Oliver Stone, you expect the result to be better than a long drawn-out episode of The Equalizer. Bridges plays a dipso cop who gets dropped from the force for blowing away a man going berserk with a baseball bat. When an unhappy hooker comes to him for protection, she ends up in a storm drain, and our decrepit hero determines to get even with her killer, a pigtailed drug-dealer. People say 'shit' and 'fuck' a lot; the spurts of action are too few and far between to hold the interest. However, there are a couple of things that make you sit up. Firstly, a fanny-flaunting floozie says 'Streetlight makes my pussy-hair glow in the dark'. And second, Arquette pukes over Bridges' groin. No wonder.