Escape from the Dark

A loathsome Disney attempt to foist the standards of Upstairs Downstairs on a turn-of-the-century Yorkshire colliery: anyone taking children to see it will have to put up with 'Can I go down a mine, too?' for the rest of the week. In a daringly flagrant disregard for the Industrial Revolution, our story shows how humble pit-ponies can beat new-fangled mechanisation every time, and how honest colliers only want to get on with their job without interference from The Bosses. 'Them ponies belong in the pit, same as us' is the line of the film: it's as if Lawrence and Orwell, let alone Kes, had never existed. England's class-ridden society of acting talent (Sim as crusty earl, beaming Joe Gladwin down t'pit) does its duty, but all are on a hiding to nothing.