Holy Water

This fatally unfunny Irish comedy doesn’t raise a single laugh from its silly conceit of four rural Irish blokes deciding to lift themselves out of a financial rut by hijacking a lorry full of Viagra and reselling it to the sexually needy. Their plans go wrong of course: they hide several barrels of the little blue pills down a well and the arousing chemical starts to leak into the village’s water supply which, inevitably, causes something to stir in the trousers of the folk in their sleepy hamlet.

Sounds hilarious? It’s not. The scriptwriters don’t understand that the sight of lots of people feeling a little horny isn’t in itself amusing – yet we have to bear umpteen nods, winks and naughty smiles (although, oddly, not a hint of an erection, presumably for certification reasons, which undermines the whole idea). Matters are made even worse when Linda Hamilton – yes, her from ‘The Terminator’ – turns up as a cartoon American cop on the trail of these amateur criminals. ‘Make mine a stiff one,’ says one of the cast. Me too, after watching this coy drivel.