Jaan-E-Mann

Arrogant, broke actor Suhaan (Khan) has neglected his alimony payments. Owing a huge sum to his Manhattan-based ex-wife, Piya (Zinta), Suhaan and his eccentric dwarf lawyer plot to marry her off to NASA astronaut Agastya (Kumar). Because the mere thought of Piya reduces Agastya to a tongue-tied dork, Suhaan accompanies him to New York and coaches him in woo-manship. The result: heartache all around. Contrived even by Bollywood standards, this nutty spectacle careers awkwardly between broad comedy, maudlin melodrama and utter weirdness (outer-space romance, dancing tiny people, self-referential gags and much more), but is too goofy to convert Indian-musical skeptics. (Now playing; Click here for venues.) — Maitland McDonagh