Dear Hollywood: I have this astounding movie idea, so hold on to your hairpieces and picture this: an isolated group of professionals, totally cut off from the world, their deadline fast approaching, happen across and Ancient Enigma... but before they know what's going down, they are cut down to size, violently, one by one. Yeah, I know it sounds kinda like Alien and The Thing, but that's the beauty of it, and you haven't heard the clincher. See, it ain't set in space or the Arctic, but in a Studio Preview Theatre! We get the usual motley crew of critics: the ambitious looker who really wants to pen a blockbuster (Amanda Pays could do it); the cynical old hack who is beginning to slip (a role for Richard Crenna, this); the egotist who panics as soon as the blood begins to flow; the standard no-hopers, strictly sfx fodder (we could throw in Ernie Hudson or Daniel Stern); and of course the hero, a lean, silent type who susses the Corporate Conspiracy, destroys the monster, and escapes to tell the world (how about Peter Weller?). Alternatively, you could transpose the situation to a sub-aquatic mining project, call it something imposing like Leviathan, and watch all those DeepStar Six and Abyss punters stay home again.