Space vampires! Zombie slaves! Excessive nudity! Brent Cross Shopping Centre! Yes, this loopy sci-fi-horror hybrid from ‘Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ director Tobe Hooper has all this, and so much more. The plot is idiotic – something to do with a 150-mile-long spaceship tucked away behind Halley’s Comet – but the film is completely unmissable for a handful of brain-scrambling moments: Patrick Stewart ferociously snogs a dude, Mathilda May strolls down the Strand in the buff, and the climax involves the hero stabbing himself through the heart with a sword while having sex on the altar of a cathedral. ‘Lifeforce’ is a near-impossible film to review, at once indescribably awful and hugely, brilliantly entertaining.