Mega Piranha

We all know what to expect from Asylum Films by now: poorly rendered mutant CGI sea creatures, thumpingly blunt dialogue (‘It wasn’t an explosion – it was giant piranha!’) and one confused-looking ’80s popstar wondering what she’s got herself into. Following the appearance of Debbie Gibson in ‘Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus’, this time they’ve managed to rope in poor Tiffany, who stands about looking startled as a genetic scientist whose attempts to feed the Venezuelan poor by breeding super-resilient fish (why d’you  start with piranhas, Tiff?) have, unsurprisingly, gone slightly off the rails. She’s ably supported by lantern-jawed US  agent Jason Fitch (Paul Logan), whom none of the filmmakers seem to have noticed has a name which sounds quite a lot like ‘fish’, leading to inevitable confusion. Bad-movie enthusiasts will doubtless have fun watching these oversized piscine predators leaping from the ocean and laying waste to Florida’s coastal regions, but hasn’t this tiresome, kitschy, so-bad-it’s-good fad run its course?