Mega Shark v Giant Octopus

From Asylum Pictures, the straight-to-DVD masterminds behind ‘Transmorphers’ and ‘Snakes on a Train’, comes an ‘original’ story which has gained online fanboy traction on the strength of its name. The title also serves as a handy plot précis: while deep-sea diving in her  sophisticated pod  (a cupboard with a computer in it), oceanographic whiz Debbie Gibson (yes, her) encounters the eponymous prehistoric duo, frozen in ice for millennia, and unleashed to terrorise the world! Or at least the seaside.

‘Mega Shark’ isn’t as disastrous as it could have been: true, the plot is risible, shots are repeated ad nauseum, no one can act and the effects look like they were knocked up on an Amstrad. But it’s short, sharp and tongue in cheek, and how could one hate a film where a giant shark jumps out of the sea and brings down a plane?