Oh, dear. Anyone who didn't appreciate the polished sophistication of Sleepless in Seattle should be made to watch Ephron's third outing as writer and director...until they submit. This remake of a 1982 French farce, Le Père Noël est une Ordure! (d Jean-Marie Poiré, not distributed in the UK), is a disaster. Ephron's timing and sensitivity have deserted her, leaving behind only the sentimentality. It's Christmas Eve at Martin's suicide hotline service - Lifesavers - but it's the staff (Wilson, Kahn) who seem most desperately in need of help. Ephron pitches for zany, which means we have to endure a pregnant Lewis at her most hysterical, LaPaglia as a gun-toting Santa, Sandler as a ukulele-playing tee-shirt writer ('Save the Dolphins - that's one of mine'), a lovelorn transvestite and a serial killer, while the leads alternately scream and faint, as well they might.