Nowhere Man

Shoddy, repulsive and ultimately irredeemable, Tim McCann's Nyack-set noir reduces the metaphoric hunt for lost manhood to new depths of crudeness. Conrad (Rodrick) has a serious problem: His monstrous wife (Rochon) has lopped off his penis and run off with a porn star. She claims to have his missing member on ice, so the film's ludicrous race against time is on. Any attempt to take this movie as seriously as it takes itself is undermined by its laughably inept performances—barely a wince from the dickless wonder—and a "hilarious" blooper reel of several takes of emasculation.