Billionaire industrialist Magnus Martel (Stamp) has devoted his life to tracking down the Loculus, a knick-knack of enormous historical importance and power. When he hears it's been found in the Middle East, he sends estranged son Jake (D'Arcy) and alchemy student Mira (Wightman) to retrieve it. But a murderous secret society led by a satanic immortal (Kier) have other ideas. Writer/director Urban makes the fatal mistake of playing the whole thing relentlessly straight; Kier should have told him the only way to make drivel like this bearable is to camp it up. It's painful to see Stamp, Jacobi and Moody reduced to mouthing such inane dialogue; and as Jake's mother, Imrie has perhaps the most undignified death scene in recent movie history.