Saturn 3

Some handy tips on how to enjoy Saturn 3 One, you can play 'Spot the Rip-off', a game requiring only a cursory knowledge of successful sci-fi/horror movies. Watch for the Star Wars special effects, the claustrophobic chase scenes from Alien, the rampant robots of Dark Star. Or you can while away the credibility gaps by guessing how much Kirk Douglas got paid for not cracking up over lines like 'I guess I'm near abort-time', or how much Martin Amis got paid for writing them. Alternatively, try to figure out whether Harvey Keitel's baddie talks in such a clipped monotone because he's a baddie, or because he's gritting his teeth. And if all else fails, you can ponder the absurd central premise: could any biped - let alone the film's Meccano-built robot - be driven blood-lust crazy for Farrah Fawcett's fanny? Just another miserable muddle from the Lew Grade empire; there's more fun to be had cleaning out your cat litter tray.