Get us in your inbox

Slaugherhouse Rulez

  • Film
  • 2 out of 5 stars
Nick Wall

Time Out says

2 out of 5 stars

Not so much ‘If....’ as ‘why?’, Crispian Mills’ brash boarding-school comedy is a headache in film form.

The first film to emerge from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s new production company, Stolen Picture, ‘Slaughterhouse Rulez’ begins as a desperately unfunny English public school comedy before mutating into a brutally effective monster movie, earning its two stars for cool creatures and copious carnage. Until then, the film staggers lamely along, as the mother of nouveau riche northerner Dom (Finn Cole) buys his way into the upmarket, elite Slaughterhouse School, and immediately he falls for posh girl Clemsie (Hermione Corfield) and runs afoul of psycho head boy Clegg (Tom Rhys Harries).

Meanwhile, Dom’s morose roommate (Asa Butterfield) snorts snuff, entertains suicidal thoughts, and fires a rifle at a photo of Malcolm McDowell’s character from Lindsay Anderson’s ‘If....’ as if the film’s influences weren’t obvious enough. To make matters even worse, headmaster Michael Sheen has allowed a fracking firm on to school grounds, inadvertently opening up a massive sinkhole in the woods, and unleashing a series of ferocious subterranean critters which proceed to chomp their way through students and staff.

Directed and co-written by Crispian Mills (‘A Fantastic Fear of Everything’, and yes, the guy from Kula Shaker, ’90s indie fans) with a meritorious lack of subtlety, wit or incisive class commentary, this is loud, brash, and almost entirely laugh-free, squandering a talented cast that includes Pegg, Frost, and Margot Robbie in what is, essentially, an extended Skype cameo. Once the creatures show up, however, the film finally finds its feet, and Mills stages the B-movie mayhem with gleeful abandon and geysers of blood.

Byline: Mark Salisbury

Release Details

  • Rated:15
  • Release date:Wednesday 31 October 2018
  • Duration:104 mins

Cast and crew

  • Director:Crispian Mills
  • Screenwriter:Crispian Mills, Henry Fitzherbert
  • Cast:
    • Hermione Corfield
    • Asa Butterfield
    • Michael Sheen
    • Simon Pegg
You may also like
You may also like